Carrying Your Love: Staying Close In Long Distance Relationships
In today’s world, with so much going on with careers and family life, it can be hard to remain close in your relationship. This can be especially true if there is distance because you have a spouse that requires them to be gone for long hours, or in some cases, long distances.
When separation is due to work in careers like medical professionals, truck drivers, or those serving in the military, it can be taxing on a relationship. Not only does this cause physical distance, but emotional distance as well, which can leave feelings of neglect or loneliness. You might ask yourself, “What can we do in our relationship that can help us to keep our love strong even when we are apart?” Although it will not always be easy your bond can remain resilient even while apart.
George Strait’s song Carrying Your Love With Me is a song about keeping a strong commitment and positive love towards your partner regardless of how much distance occurs in the relationship. This song also reflects the commitment and hope needed to keep love alive no matter the amount of time that keeps you apart in your relationship.
This blog will explore how couples can stay emotionally close, even when miles apart. With faith, intentional communication, and practical strategies, you can carry each other in love and spirit, no matter where life takes you.
How Distance or Long Hours Can Impact Relationships
Relationships can have their own complications to navigate, but distance or long hours away at work can have a deeper impact on your relationship. When couples are in a distant relationship or one with long hours, it can lead to feelings of loneliness or doubt about how the relationship can grow. This can lead to a feeling of disconnection in the relationship and this is something that many couples might experience in times of extended separation.
Some couples start to feel like they are in a relationship by themselves and they have to start doing things they once enjoyed with their partner, alone. When they get back with their partner they have to be mindful and considerate of their partner when they do things together. If both are not on the same page this could cause some resentment or feelings of confusion, and as time goes on it can begin to feel like a never ending cycle of stagnation.
Also if there are children involved this can present another cause of concern. Having to go to all of your children’s activities alone can be challenging for both you and your children.
Having prolonged experiences of disconnection in the relationship can lead to emotional detachment, which is the inability or unwillingness to engage or have a connection with others. Emotional attachment can be a coping mechanism to help lessen the pain of impending separation, making it easier for them to adjust when their partner has to leave again.
Overtime this can become a pattern, making it harder to create new bonding experiences with your spouse. This can also affect personal intimacy, especially if the couple is avoiding each other and not communicating their wants and needs for the relationship.
The Message Behind ‘Carrying Your Love With Me’
Carrying your love with me is a beautiful song about a performer who travels to different cities to perform, but no matter where he goes he always keeps the love he has for his wife close to his heart. The video begins in an empty theatre, with him walking in with the his traveling bag. Different scenes show him and his life away from her, and even in his loneliness he remained emotionally satisfied because he was carrying her love with him through it all.
This song demonstrates how love might not always be perfect, but through dedication and commitment their love is perfect enough for them. True commitment in a relationship is about a consistently making an effort to stay close and to also remain faithful.
Love and Faith
Love and faith can offer a strong foundation in a relationship, making it easier to get through tough times or challenges while being apart. An encouraging verse from the Bible is from 1 Corinthians 13: 4 & 7 ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.’ 7: It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’
Leaning into your faith and trusting God’s plan for your marriage can help you and your spouse during times of separation. We might not always have all of the answers for our relationship, but we can always trust that the Lord will always see us through. Having a strong prayer life is another ways to keep faith at the center of your relationship. With faith, trust in God and a strong prayer life your relationship can endure distance and long hours of being apart.
How to ‘Carry Love’ While Being Apart
When there are many miles between you and your partner, it can feel like the connection in your relationship is getting weaker. Although it might feel like it at times, love does not disappear just because you and your partner are not physically together for extended amounts of time. Similar to the lyrics in ‘Carrying Your Love With Me’ love is something that we can hold on to, even when we can’t hold each other. Here are four ways you and your partner can stay together even when you are miles apart:
Intentional Communication - Having routine phone calls and text messages to check in with each other is something that is good to have in a distant relationship, but having more deeper meaningful conversations can be helpful for keeping you connected. You and your partner can have a dedicated time each day where you can focus on reconnecting for 15 to 30 minutes without being interrupted. During this time you can also share moments where you though about your partner, or if something happened that made you think about them during the day. Even though this might not seem like much, these small gestures help to build emotional intimacy.
Christ-Centered Connection - Faith can offer stability in your relationship when you and your partner are unsure about how to stay connected when you are not together. You and your partner can pray together before bed or send each other a scripture in the mornings. If you are unable to attend church together you can find a ministry online to listen to while on FaceTime together. Even while physically apart, you can still have a powerful bond through your spiritual life. By keeping Christ as the center of your relationship you can understand the peace that passes all understanding and stay connected while apart.
Actionable Love - Distance does not have to be the reason that you and your partner can’t show love in tangible ways. You can each write each other a short handwritten letter before you or your partner leaves, to be opened by each of you at the same time when you are apart. You can also have a virtual date night where you enjoy a similar meal and watch a movie “together”. These are just a couple of ways to make your partner feel loved and appreciated when not together.
Gracefully Manage Expectations - Being separated can cause misunderstanding or plans for the relationship that do not align. One partner might feel lonely and requires more attention, while the other partner might be exhausted from working long hours which can cause conflicts if this is not discussed. Have a talk about what you both need to stay connected. Showing grace to each other during times when one or the other is feeling overwhelmed can help you overcome challenges while continuing to build a solid relationship.
Encouragement for Long-Distance Couples
Military spouses, truck drivers, and medical professionals understand all too well the challenges that come with long-distant relationships. Being separated for long periods of time can be hard, and can be a real test for some marriages. Being apart might not always be easy on the relationship, but it can help to build trust, deeper emotional intimacy and resiliency. Even when you are not together you can continue on ‘carrying your love’ in your heart.
If you and your partner are having difficulties navigating distance in your relationship, couples counseling can be a positive investment for your relationship. Feel free to contact us to make a counseling appointment.
